Broken Hearts Party and Shrine Launch
Oakland Public Library
Oakland, CA
Feb. 13, 2024
At The Alcove cafe on the east side of Los Angeles, there was a secret desk drawer in the back room filled with strips of paper, on which patrons wrote their stories of love los — a cathartic cleansing ritual to help rid one of the pain of a broken heart. When I lived in L.A. for five short years, I contributed several of my own stories to this drawer, hoping to cleanse my soul and to join in the communal activity of people like me — suffering, commiserating, moving on.
Sharon McKellar and Mana Tominaga, two librarians at the Oakland public library, had the same idea. Hearing about a “broken hearts shrine” from another librarian at a conference, Sharon convened the first iteration of the Broken Hearts Party at a bar across the street from the main library back in 2019. In subsequent years, they decided to expand its reach, and created a shrine at the library with contributions from patrons chronicling their own broken hearts. They also created a crafting party just before Valentine’s Day, where people can come together to write down their stories, contribute artifacts, or create a page to be added to the yearly “Broken Hearts” zine, now heading into its third issue.
The party, taking place in one of the main rooms of the library on a Tuesday night, was naturally a somewhat subdued affair. From two librarians, the yearly party and shrine launch has grown to a couple dozen participants, quietly cutting out magazine pages for collages, writing down lists of their favorite break-up songs, decorating heart-shaped cookies, and chatting quietly about their experiences. I was expecting something like a “Day of the Dead” vibe, a community feeling of quiet contemplation, along with a sense of hope and gratitude. It felt a little more nebulous than that, but still contemplative.
One woman contributed a framed puzzle of St. Moritz, which was given to her by an ex-boyfriend. “We’re actually on good terms,” she noted, but added that her estranged father is from St. Moritz, and it stirs up bad memories.
The shrine and zine were filled with stories of people mourning the loss of partners, pets, family members, or homes. It ran the gamut. Every year’s zine includes photos of the artifacts in the shrine. One patron contributed a figurine of the actor Chadwick Boseman as “The Black Panther” in the titular Marvel movie. “When the Black Panther movie first launched in 2018, I was just as excited as any little kid… it felt amazing to finally have a black man from our era play [a superhero],” she wrote. “I have never broken down in tears over a celebrity, but when I heard of Mr. Boseman’s untimely passing, I wept for weeks.”
“We hope this event and shrine helps people come to terms with any kind of heartache,” said McKellar. She loved that the shrine has included contributions from all age ranges, for all kinds of broken hearts. She added that people can still drop off their contributions to the shrine at any Oakland library through February. The shrine will stay up until the end of March, or possibly longer.
There was a spirit of hope and gratitude at the party. Pages of last year’s zine included lists of why it’s great being single (“I have so much time to spend with all my friends”) and reminders that “This, too, shall pass…” Lonely roads may feel less lonely when you realize you don’t have to walk them alone. Here’s to fresh starts and keeping hope alive.
