The Wholesome Circle
Groundfloor Oakland
March 4, 2024
“I’m Robin… whoosh!” I said as I introduced myself to a group of five strangers standing in a circle around me. I threw my arms into the air as I said this, then giggled.
Everyone else repeated my movements back to me in unison and said “Whoosh!” in reply.
We were following directions from Aïcha Doucouré, who was leading us in the group activities for her Wholesome Circle event at the Groundfloor community space in Oakland. I’m not sure that any of us were clear on why we were throwing funny shapes and making up strange noises, but we all smiled and laughed as we did.
I worked with Aïcha years ago when she had a different career, and hadn’t seen her in person in a few years. I knew her as the affable and encouraging Frenchwoman with the easy smile. So it wasn’t a stretch to see her change gears and move into the life coaching space. That’s how I found myself in this circle, ready to follow her lead.
As a life coach, Aïcha uses interactive activities like these as tools to help people move (physically and figuratively) toward personal growth. She draws from her studies of the Enneagram, nonviolent communication, and somatic practices, among other things, to help spur this growth. As someone who loves the process of self-discovery and self-growth through practices like mindfulness and meditation, I recognized some elements of these techniques. But the active movement and improvisational exercises were a welcome novelty.
The theme for that night’s event was how to handle not having control in life — in relationships, at work, at home, or anywhere else. Trying to mimic the movements and sounds of each person in the group grew more challenging over time, but not so overwhelming that we stopped doing it. It was a low-stakes exercise in taking the same approach with greater challenges, or in how to support others with theirs.
In performing these activities and seeing the group approach them with a sense of openness and playfulness, I thought of a trip to Europe that I took years ago with a friend. On a train to Copenhagen, we lost track of our luggage. My friend, who was new to international travel, started to panic. But, having experienced setbacks like this before, I calmly moved through our train car to locate our suitcases. In modeling this calmness, I saw her visibly relax and switch gears from panic to acceptance, working with me to problem-solve. I’m sure I probably learned to deal with setbacks like this from the example of someone else, too.
After a few physical activities, we sat in a circle and tackled some thought exercises that involved showing empathy and curiosity about other people in the group. A couple of members shared problems they were dealing with and the hurt they experienced as a result. Following Aïcha’s lead, we learned to be curious, supportive, and empathetic in our line of questioning, aimed at connection and understanding rather than problem-solving. This kind of meaty, supportive inquiry led to self-discovery from the subject, and a deeper connection among the group of strangers.
“I love doing these kinds of activities,” someone in the group said spontaneously at the end of the night. However trendy these kinds of self-growth activities might be superficially, we all seemed to be making genuine discoveries about ourselves. I left grateful to reconnect with a former colleague, and to have gleaned a few precious nuggets of self-discovery. One of the most satisfying puzzles for me to crack has been the puzzle of myself. Sometimes things that sound cheesy can still be true.
