18th Annual Santa Speedo Sprint
Lark Street
Albany, N.Y.
Dec. 9, 2023
Two weeks before Christmas, Albany’s beloved entertainment hotspot Lark Street was overrun by semi-nude Saint Nicks.
The event, the 18th Annual Santa Speedo Sprint, was organized by the Albany Society for the Advancement of Philanthropy. It raised funds for the HIV/AIDS program at Albany Medical Center and the Albany Damien Center.
Festivities began late Saturday morning with registration at Oh Bar and the Lionheart Pub (which also served as a voting station for the state capital’s other grand public event that day, the annual Chili Chowder Fest). By noon, the Lionheart had started to fill up with burly, bare-chested men in festive running hot pants, carb loading (as seriously athletes do) on beer (as serious athletes do not).
Many sprinters wore speedos, of course, but other participants dressed in costume. There were sexy Santas, sexy elves, sexy Mrs. Clauses, sexy reindeer, sexy shark attack victims, and (potentially sexy for those with more eclectic tastes) Krampuses. Spectators with cameras packed the sidewalks up and down the street, eager to watch the fun. For a little while, Lark Street turned into one big block party.
Race Director and Head Elf Jim Larson was holding court there, greeting the sprinters and helping with registration, like the mayor of a very strange Christmas village.
Larson politely declined to be photographed at the Lionheart, preferring to wait until he could display himself in more appropriate attire: a tiny red speedo with matching suspenders. A thoroughly Santa-like man with a white beard and a handlebar mustache, Larson explained that the sprint started with a mere 35 runners but has since blossomed to around 300, with 1,500 spectators, raising up to $30,000 for charity. The sprint took a year off during Covid-19, as a superspreader event is perhaps not the most appropriate way to raise funds for medical charities.)
The police shut down Lark Street to vehicular traffic for Saturday’s event. The sprinters began to assemble at the starting line on Madison Avenue. Luckily for the many underdressed revelers, the weather that day was a balmy 50 degrees Fahrenheit and sunny.
The sprint attracted runners from all walks of life — young and old, men and women, athletic and out of shape; there were members of the LGBTQ community present, allies, and plenty of apolitical people just happy for a socially-sanctioned reason to gambol topless and tipsy in public.
And then they were off. The runners dashed 800 meters to the finish line at State Street and ambled triumphantly back, some limping in heels. (Not all costumes are great for running.) After a joyful celebration, the sprinters returned to the bars to rehydrate.
I spoke to several participants and organizers to try and find out who finished first. No one could tell me who won. In a way, we all did.
Where I’m going next: I’ll be attending the 2024 SLCA One Act Play Festival at the Sand Lake Center for the Arts.
