Square Pie Guys
499 9th St.
Oakland
Simplicity and good ingredients treated with care bring a lot to the table.
In the case of the Bay Area mini-chain Square Pie Guys, the proof is in the kind-of-pizza pie. They call it Detroit style pizza — which, as a staunch New Haven pizza groupie, I find it difficult to write. Their East Bay location is on a sweet corner of Old Oakland, surrounded by small shops, art studios, and fellow restaurants (such as Swan’s Market — but that’s for another day).
Much as the pie, their logo is simple but strong, with lots of character. Line art in a dark navy shows the busts of two bearded men. They are back to back, in what may well be wrangler t‑shirts, one wearing a brimmed cap, the other facing out towards their name. The letters are simple characters, slightly off kilter and embellished with small lines.
The menu boasts 12 designed pies that cannot be customized, as well as a choose-your-own adventure. The 8x10 pies cost north of $20, which may seem aggressive (plain cheese is $17 though!), but these bad boys are hefty, well over a pound, and I have found each time I’ve eaten it that two slices are good for a sitting.
Their salads, of which there are two or three depending on season and location, are also heavier than they appear, packed full and well thought out. They are also under $13, which at this stage of late capitalism is kind of a steal. Unfortunately for me, the green goddess dressing for the kale Caesar contains anchovies, but the chilled bowl salad was far from a consolation prize. The only bummer on this day was that I chose a pie topped with the same sun dried tomato vinaigrette as the chilled bowl salad, which felt a bit redundant, but overall is hardly cause for complaint.
All pies can be made vegan or gluten free but not both, and the menu is clearly labeled, no parsing necessary. I’d never eaten inside the space and was delighted at the choice of still or sparkling water on tap, as well as the 2000s girl-power pop playing during my lunch. Janet Jackson’s “So Excited” pairs surprisingly well with gigante beans, baby kale, and hot salty cheese.
The rectangle — let’s call it what it is — of doughy goodness is baked in a well-greased tin (which, according to their website, were used in auto factories, hence the Detroit), lending a super crispy, chewy crust to encase the pillowy interior. The focaccia-like insides give just a hint of resistance, the sauce and filling sandwiched between bread and cheese in a pocket, leaving the top of the dough nearly gummy — but in a good way — and the cheese is the gooiest on the block (I think). Any cheese puller’s dream.
I’d chosen the Fall Pie Guys, which comes with a layer of juicy red sauce, garlic confit, baby kale, onion, and pickled peppers, topped with all that cheese and a squiggle of the sun dried tomato vinaigrette. The sauce was sweet and tart, tasting of ripe tomatoes and a touch of oregano at the end. The veggies were good, with the garlic singing the strongest, but didn’t add quite the flavor or textural contrast I would have liked. My first two bites were slightly underwhelming, but with more sauce and veggies it opened up, the onions little lovely pops.
The salad, as previously mentioned, was packed densely, with baby kale and shredded romaine beneath seasoned sunflower seeds, steamed broccoli, cherry tomatoes, gigante beans, and sun dried tomato vinaigrette. The beans were, naturally, nice and large, with a super creamy bite and mixed into a little of their own, boosting their flavor immensely and ensuring they never dried out. The dressing was thick, a bit chunky, but not heavy, and had a bright zing. The broccoli was a wildly vibrant green and also ultra soft, which I did not love but, given the freshness of the flavor, did not mind. The sunflower seeds were not spicy but well spiced, bringing some depth to the mix. A tasty and filling bowl indeed.
Their takeout bags read “you say pizza, we say pie.” I say bread casserole, but can’t argue it because my mouth is too full of their food. If you’ve a hankering, they have a special meal deal going, good enough I plan to return with a friend sooner than perhaps prudent for my gut health.
