Halfway to Halloween Haunt
Deranged Haunt
Romulus, Mich.
May 9, 2025
We’re just a bit past the halfway point to Halloween, and Deranged Haunt in Romulus took it upon themselves to give Halloween-lovers a midway fix until October. The 25-minute haunted trail took us through a series of settings to offer a variety of themed scares.
Behind it all was a fictional political battle that connected the locations.
In the town of Covensfield, the nefarious Victor Kalloway has won the mayoral election over incumbent mayor Lumpy Conwell. Rumor has it Kalloway has been operating a cult in an attempt to resurrect a witch from his bloodline to secure his powers. Kalloway requires a blood sacrifice to complete the ceremony – hence where we came in.
The experience started at Starfall Mall. The retro-themed, now abandoned shopping center had been created in a desperate attempt by Conwell to win the election, using corrupt funds from GreenNo Industries to cover up their toxic waste.
From there, visitors followed the path to visit the toxic chemical plant as well as a carnival, cemetery, summer camp and family farm – each with its own history.
I’m rather picky when it comes to haunted houses and was impressed with the haunt’s elaborate back story, high production value and attention to detail, with a clear goal to prioritize the visitor experience.
Each of the scenarios featured elaborate sets and effects that brought the locations to life. One of my favorites was the river at Camp Zika – complete with a haunted floating canoe – where the lighting created the look of real water as you walked through.
There was even a touch of humor to the experience. In the carnival section, a series of wall portraits displayed a progression of clowns named Mambo, with a surprise live clown at the empty window reserved for “Mambo Number Five” – a delightful moment of musical nostalgia for Millennial visitors. The store names at Starfall Mall had amusing spoofs on major brands, including a “Paymore Shoes” and “Ray Bee Toys.” I also enjoyed a good heckle with many of the actors, who played along while also staying in character.
One of the best parts of the haunt was its controlled admittance. Deranged Haunt paced the entry so individual groups of less than six entered at different times, giving us the experience of having the place to ourselves. We only encountered other people briefly once or twice, usually when we had been lingering.
The downside was the long wait. We had pre-paid for our tickets but still needed to wait 30 minutes to pick them up, and then opted to pay an additional $10 for a fast pass when they told us it could take an hour and 45 minutes to get through the standard line. We still had to wait, even with the fast pass, but it was significantly shorter.
The fear level was pretty standard when it comes to haunted houses, though the haunt prides itself on not using animatronics, which can be found anywhere. The path featured jump scares – and sometimes light touching – from costumed actors who embraced their backstories to build the story. I tend to be the brave one when it comes to such haunts, and I enjoyed the adrenaline rush and playing along with the story, though we did hear some rather loud screams at times from other potential blood sacrifices.
One of the real scares of the evening was of damage to my footwear. The trail was rather muddy, and my white sneakers were a poor choice.
While I appreciated the detailed backstory, it was fairly complex (for a haunted house). I couldn’t fully follow along based on the introduction provided, although I imagine most people who visit haunted houses are more interested in the scares than the stories. The full details, however, were available on the website, so I recommend fellow nerds to read through beforehand for future haunts to get the full experience.
My penchant for Halloween tends to be limited to October. This was the first time I can remember celebrating a holiday outside of its generally accepted timeslot, which was a bit discombobulating at times as the spring weather was similar to fall. But I enjoyed the new experience and plan to return to Deranged Haunt come fall – and perhaps its Krampus haunt in December too.
