Big Time Bingo
Garden Bowl
Detroit
Monday nights
There’s an image burned into my brain from watching too many movies of what a bingo night should look and feel. It’s all seniors, crammed into a cafeteria inside of a living facility. It’s sleepy. It’s boring. It’s something you hope to avoid as you ride off into your golden years.
Big Time Bingo at the Garden Bowl was the complete opposite when I popped in. It was high energy. The crowd was hot and young. (I felt like a terminal patient here, and I’m only 36). The setting was perfect – the legendary rock ‘n’ roll Garden Bowl, home to the oldest bowling alley in North America. Hot slices of pizza were spinning on a little carousel. Cold beers were being poured from the bar.
“Welcome to the big side of town!” Mayor Darlington declared. She’s your host every Monday at 8 p.m., a larger-than-life bingo queen with a killer sense of vintage fashion and who is funnier than most local comics.
I’ve made the argument that this is closer to a full-on comedy performance than it is a bingo night. But there were cards passed out and those cool paint markers to dot the numbers as Mayor Darlington read out the next ball to the packed house. (It’s nearly standing room only a lot of nights, even in the freezing cold.)
“G-57,” Mayor Darlington read out the next bingo number. “G as in gag.”
The crowd went wild when O-69 got picked next. Mayor Darlington quipped back to their reaction: “I’d argue that one is the horniest number,” to a big laugh in return.
“I-26! I-26! That’s I as in ‘impersonating a police officer.’”
“O-62! O as in “officially past my prime.’”
Mayor Darlington combed through local thrift stores for her prizes. Tonight, there was a stuffed animal goose that was also a purse. There was a weird glowing frog lamb. (I wanted this so badly but I didn’t win.) There were vintage T-shirts, puzzles and other oddities.
As Mayor Darlington said, "Come on over to the big side of town." The bingo is better. The beer is colder. It’s one of the finest, weirdest and most entertaining things you can do on a Monday in Detroit.
